


To Be A King

by tezukazoned



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:05:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9706358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tezukazoned/pseuds/tezukazoned
Summary: Haru is a king. Rin is a prince. They both have their own lives and duties to attend to, but sometimes desire gets in the way.





	1. Chapter 1

“Your Majesty, please re —”

Haru brings his hand up in a gesture to silence the useless pleading. He has heard enough of potential brides and marriage alliances. Those sort of things simply don’t interest him. Not yet, anyway. At the moment, all Haru cares about is keeping the peace in his country. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make him change his mind. 

“We are done for today,” Haru states and turns his back to his chief advisor, Tachibana Makoto. The matter at hand would be put to rest for now, but Haru knows what tomorrow will bring.

The past few months have been like this, filled with talks about marriage. And with marriage comes heirs. Nothing brings peace and hope to the realm like a royal son or two. They ensure the royal line will continue and a smooth transition between kings. A bloodbath will ensue if Haru fails in this critical duty, families and nobles trying to carve their name into the throne with their swords. 

Makoto’s shoulders sag. He doesn’t like talking about marriages every single day just like Haru, but it is his job to give the King good counsel. It would be irresponsible of him to not remind Haru how important it is to take on a wife. The other advisors agree with him. Every king of Ancora before him has wed, which in turn has allowed the Nanase’s to stay on the throne for several generations. Stability is at stake if Haru continues to dismiss every woman presented to him.

“Of course. I will inform the Duke you won’t be meeting with his daughter,” Makoto concedes. 

For the first time in the past hour, Haru smiles. “Good. I will go riding now,” he says and quickly adds, “Alone.” Being suffocated by people at all hours of the day wears Haru down. Even a king needs his alone time. 

Without another glance at Makoto, Haru strides out of the council room and heads for the stables. He stops now and then to greet the nobility roaming about in the castle, to appease them. A king is nothing with the loyalty of his people, so Haru makes sure to be in good standing with those who have the power to take his crown away if they chose to band together. The chances of an uprising are slim because Ancora has been peaceful for centuries, but one wrong move could turn the tides. Haru puts on his best smile for the show.

 

Haru can’t help but glance over his shoulder a few times as he rides out to his favorite spot. He can’t trust Makoto to not send someone after him. The two are on good terms for the most part, but Makoto is overly cautious while Haru throws care to the wind. 

“What if you run into a group of unsavory men?” Makoto had once cried out.

“I know how to fight with a sword,” Haru tried to placate him.

“Okay, but what if it starts to rain acid, Your Majesty?” his chief advisor countered. 

“Then we shall both pray my enemies perish with me,” Haru said with a smile.

Thankfully no one is on his tail as Haru hops off his horse and leads it into the woods. Down a gradual slope, past three withered trees lies a small swimming hole. It’s surrounded by lush greenery and the soothing silence of mother nature. Haru ties his horse to a low branch before stripping down to nothing. The water is cool to the touch, but it feels like home to Haru. In the middle of nowhere, he doesn’t have to listen to anyone except for the beat of his heart as he submerges himself.

It’s an entirely new world beneath the water’s surface. Most of it is concealed in the murky depths, but what Haru can make out fascinates him to no end. From the rock formations to the schools of tiny fish, everything is beautiful to him. If this enclosed space can bring such delight to him, Haru wonders what the vast oceans would do to his soul. He one day hopes to visit the beach and take in the briny air. For now, all he has to keep him going are the tales passing merchants and fishermen share with him. 

“Your Majesty!” someone cries out. The words don’t sound so clear underwater, but Haru can see a blurry figure in light blue above the water. Haru reluctantly resurfaces and gasps for air. He isn’t sure how long he was down there for, but knows it was enough time to scare the poor man in front of him half to death. 

“What is it? Speak,” Haru commands, staring at the dolphin crest on the man’s sleeve.

After regaining his bearings, the messenger says, “Your Majesty, Prince Rin of Cupere and his men request entrance into the castle. They are passing by in the midst of a long journey.”

Haru brazenly exits the swimming hole and plucks his shirt off the ground. “Return to the castle at once and inform the maids to prepare chambers for our guests.”

The messenger bows to Haru before rushing towards the main road. Haru does his best to hurry after the man because it’s been over a decade since he last saw Rin, his dearest friend from childhood. They have been corresponding over letters, but they can only tell Haru so much. What does Rin look like now? Does he continue to wear that smug grin of his? Between the two of them, who is taller? 

All Haru’s questions and then some will be answered in due time. He races towards the castle once he’s dressed, leaving clouds of dust in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be updated weekly, hopefully. Happy Valentine's Day!


	2. Chapter 2

When Rin was five years old, his father sent him to Ancora to learn the ways of a foreign court. That is where he met Nanase Haruka, or Haru as he would call him one day, the prince of the country. They were the same age, but their personalities clashed. Rin was energetic, while Haru was subdued. Rin liked to try new things, while Haru stuck to what he knew. Despite their differences, the two princes managed to get along because of their shared love for swimming. 

There weren’t any lakes or rivers within a day’s ride from the castle, so Haru always had to convince his caretakers to sneak him off to a swimming hole hidden in the woods. This was where Haru and Rin would spend their time racing each other across short distances. More often than not, Haru would win, but he never made a big deal out of it. On the other hand when Rin won, he would give Haru a smug grin and blabber about his victory all the way back home. 

On days when they were not swimming, Haru and Rin would take their lessons together. The former was much more studious than the latter. 

“Did you remember to review the phrases we were given yesterday?” Haru asked on their way to the library. 

Rin rubbed his eyes, having just woken up and replied with a frank “No.”

Things never really changed as they grew older. Haru had their tutors fawning over his outstanding performance and Rin made enough effort to barely pass his lessons. 

Outside of academia, Rin sported more enthusiasm. Sword fighting was a favorite pastime of his, along with horseback riding. Haru didn’t care much for physical activities that did not include water, so he stood in the background while Rin shined. 

Their fun and games together came to a sudden halt when Haru’s father fell ill and passed away shortly after. The entire country was in shock. Up until it happened, the King seemed very healthy and full of life. Unfortunately, fate did not care for what anyone thought. So Haru could not afford to play around anymore. He was going to be Ancora’s next king at the age of fourteen with his mother as regent until he was old enough to rule on his own. 

Subsequently, Rin was sent back to Cupere because the Nanase’s needed to focus on keeping the peace of the country. A boy king on the throne brought uncertainty. They had no time to watch over Rin, to Haru’s dismay. He did not want his only friend gone during an unstable period of his life. Haru wasn’t the type to show his feelings, but when it was time to send Rin off, he shed a few tears. Watching the horse- drawn carriage disappear down the main road broke his heart. 

Throughout the years, Haru found solace in Rin’s letters. They were no substitute for what he really wanted, but the letters did help keep him afloat. It was thanks to Rin that Haru managed to face his people everyday with a smile on his face. He will never admit it though.

 

“This way, Your Majesty,” Makoto grumbles and debriefs Haru on the arrangements made for Rin and his entourage. The castle did the best they could under short notice.

Haru is being escorted to the throne room where he will greet Rin. Behind him is a servant trying their best to dry off his hair. By the time they reach their destination, Haru’s hair is damp at best. If no one approaches him too closely, they won’t notice anything is off. 

“Thank you for all your hard work, Makoto,” Haru praises and dismisses the servant. “But do tell me, how did you find me?”

The chief advisor stares at him blankly. _Everyone_ knows where to find Haru if he isn’t in the castle. His undying love for swimming is no mystery to anyone in the country. Maybe even the world. 

“Silence, huh? Would you like to take a trip to the torture chamber?” Haru jokes, squeezing Makoto on the shoulder. 

He walks over to the dais and turns to the guard nearest to him. “Do I look presentable?” Haru asks as he takes a seat.

“As you always do, Your Majesty,” the guard responds promptly.

Haru smiles at him softly and then turns his attention to the double doors. With a wave of his hand, men on either side draw them open. 

“Presenting His Royal Highness Prince Rin of Cupere,” the herald announces. Everyone stands on guard.

In comes a tall, well-built man with burgundy hair. He walks confidently, keeping his fiery eyes on Haru the entire time. The man stops a few feet away from the throne and bows. When he straightens up, Haru nearly forgets to breathe. He is having a hard time recognizing the handsome man in front of him, but his features feel so familiar to him. 

Rin’s hair is a little longer now, the tips just brushing his jawline. The black brocade doublet and pants he sports reminds Haru of the grief the maids had over Rin. He would insist on wearing nothing but black, his favorite color. If they didn’t know who he was, people assumed Rin was in a constant state of mourning. And then there are his eyes, filled with determination and passion. Haru could never forget them. 

“Rin — I mean, Prince Rin, welcome to my court. It is a pleasure to have you here,” Haru says in a steady voice. 

“The pleasure is all mine, Your Majesty. I must thank you for allowing my men and I to stay here. We’ve been travelling for many days and are all in need of proper rest,” Rin replies gracefully. Haru is surprised by how well-spoken Rin has grown to be since he never took his studies seriously and talked without thinking. 

Haru rises from the throne and looks at Rin expectantly. “You must tell me tales of your journey. Would you do me the honor of joining me for supper tonight?”

“Of course. There is nothing I would like more,” Rin expresses with suppressed delight.

 

A small dining table is brought into Haru’s privy chamber where the King will have supper this evening. Maids and servants scurry around as they prepare for it. Extra care is taken since Haru has a guest. Entertaining guests is mainly a show of the country’s wealth or as Haru likes to call it, a foolish formality. He couldn’t care less about what others thought of him, but Makoto would have his head if he tried to stray from tradition. Makoto says it’s all about showing people respect. Haru can’t begin understand how jeweled goblets and gold table runners equate to respect. All they do is show an awful taste in tableware.

Haru stays out of the fray, not even bothering to check up on the progress. He knows whatever the servants concoct will be fit for a king. In the meantime, he retires to his study to look over the letters he’s accumulated over the years from Rin. He keeps them in a hollowed-out book for safekeeping. There are very few material things Haru is attached to and these letters are on the list. They hold Rin’s words and memories, but most importantly, they hold Rin’s love for Haru. Platonic, of course. 

The two of them grew up together, laughing, learning, and loving. Their friendship wasn’t always a walk in the park, but that’s what makes their bond all the more special. The sweetest things in life are the ones you work hard to earn. After nine years of distance, the reunion might just give Haru a toothache. He’s done his best to stay strong all this time, and so has Rin. Tonight, they toast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2. I hope you enjoy it.


	3. Chapter 3

“You shouldn’t have, Haru,” Rin sighs out. “You really shouldn’t have.” 

Tonight’s main course is baked mackerel with a side of mackerel salad. The fish is considered a delicacy in Ancora since it’s fished off the coast of a neighboring country. Haru does not like to waste money, but he allows himself to indulge in this one luxury. Ever since he was a child, mackerel has been his favorite food. However it is prepared, he’ll eat it. Others do not seem to share his enthusiasm for some odd reason. They are missing out.

“Oh, but you are my friend and only the best will do,” Haru assures Rin and insists he eat quickly or else the food will go cold. 

Rin reluctantly takes a small bite and then another one when he notices Haru is watching him. He remembers eating mackerel every meal when he first came to the castle, being too scared to tell his hosts he’d prefer some variety unlike their son. Ever since then, Rin has avoided eating any type of fish possible. Just the smell of it brings back haunting memories.

After a few minutes, Haru speaks up. “Where are you headed to, Rin? It must have been very urgent, otherwise you would have told me you were passing by.”

Rin furrows his brows. “You honestly don’t know? I’m sure you got an invitation yourself.”

Haru does his best to figure out what Rin is talking about, but nothing comes to mind. He hasn’t received any invitations recently. “I’m in the dark.” 

“The King of Hatsbury is hosting a ball for his daughter so she can meet potential suitors. I didn’t want to go at first because of the long distance, but I changed my mind last minute,” Rin explains.

Now that Rin mentions it, Haru might have received an invitation from a certain king a month ago, but he immediately declined it. Makoto and the other advisors were displeased at the rash decision. They said he could at least send a proxy in his stead, even if he never intends on marrying the princess. Telling a fellow king “no” without good reason could cause an international crisis. Haru made a bunch of excuses and dismissed any further talk on the matter. Their country has yet to see a declaration of war, so it is safe to say Haru won’t be missed at the party.

“A ball, how lovely. And what made you change your mind?” Haru pushes his food around his plate, having lost his appetite. He was excited at first to dine with Rin, but now the conversation has taken a dull turn. It’s his own fault, really. But he honestly did want to know what brought Rin to his doorstep out of the blue. If only the reason was more entertaining.

Rin notices Haru has stopped eating and takes that as his cue to do the same. Thank goodness. Another bite of the atrocious fish and he would have had to excuse himself from the room. 

“Well, I’m twenty-three, Haru. My father and I both agree it’s about time I start looking for a —”Haru pushes his chair back, it’s legs screeching against the wooden floor. He doesn’t need Rin to finish that sentence. 

“It’s a clear night. Let’s go gaze at the stars. You and I enjoyed it very much as children,” Haru suggests. If Rin says no, he’ll find some other excuse. 

Rin is confused by the sudden change of plans, but he is open to the idea of moving things outside. The castle is stuffy. It’s not helping either of them ease into each other’s company. They have been writing to each other for years, but the letters haven’t helped bridge a gap left between them. Writing to someone is a completely different experience than talking to them face-to-face. Rin had hoped they would be able to continue where they left off, but tonight has proved him wrong so far.

“Lead the way, Your Majesty,” Rin jokes in the hopes of lightening the mood. It seems to work. Haru’s shoulders relax a little as he takes them out to the balcony. 

The sudden rush of fresh air is welcoming. Both men take in a deep breath. Haru leans against the railing, staring down at the dimly lit courtyard beneath them. He can see the guards patrolling the area, their armor clattering with each footstep. 

“Haru, the stars are up there,” Rin reminds Haru and nudges him gently with his elbow. 

Haru looks up at the night sky and almost loses his breath, just like when he saw Rin earlier today. The stars are always beautiful, there is no doubt about it, but they look more magnificent tonight. Haru has heard that experiences are heightened when spent with a loved one. It might not just be talk after all. 

“We’re so blessed to be here today,” Haru whispers in admiration.

Rin hums in agreement. Moments later he grabs Haru’s wrist when something catches his eye. “Over there, Pegasus,” he exclaims, raising Haru’s arm up in the general direction of the constellation. 

A snicker escapes Haru’s lips. “You seriously remember that from our lessons?”

Thank goodness it’s dark out on the balcony or else Rin would have a hard time hiding his pink-tinted cheeks. “Shut up. Astronomy was the only thing I was remotely interested in,” Rin defends himself and folds his arms over his chest after letting Haru go. 

“Ah, that’s the Rin I remember,” Haru says. He thought the old Rin was long gone, but watching his friend revert back to his childish habits fills Haru with amusement. It’s reassuring to know that some things never change in an ever-changing world. 

Rin rolls his eyes and scoffs, pretending to be offended. He rests his arms over the railing with a pout on his face.

Instead of trying to make amends immediately like he did as a child, Haru takes this opportunity to study Rin up close. He didn’t notice it earlier, but Rin had taken off his black fur-lined coat at some point during dinner. It was heavily embroidered which is a stark contrast to the simple tunic and trouser Rin wears underneath. Haru thinks he prefers Rin like this, effortless, because it allows his natural beauty to shine through. Without realizing it, Haru is mesmerized. 

“Is there something on my face?” Rin asks when he notices Haru staring at him intently and wrinkles his nose.

Haru quickly turns his attention elsewhere once he’s been caught. It would be embarrassing to admit he was admiring Rin, so he mutters something about losing himself in thought. “I just happened to be looking your way when it happened,” Haru swears. Seconds later he feels an arm draping over his shoulders, pulling him close to another warm body. Physical contact is not something Haru typically cares for, but being pressed against Rin’s side doesn’t feel wrong. If anything, he wants more. 

“It’s okay. I get it. You’re not used to the way I look. We _have_ been apart for almost a decade,” Rin sympathizes because he feels the exact same way. He kept this image of a fourteen-year-old Haru in his head all this time and expected him to look the same when they met again. Time has been kind towards Haru. He feels more firm than the lanky boy Rin knew and his constant nonchalant expression makes him kind of handsome. 

If Haru didn’t know any better, he would think Rin is psychic. The prince always knows what is on Haru’s mind, which he is kind of thankful for. Haru wasn’t a talkative child (nor a talkative adult), so making friends was nearly impossible. When Rin came into the picture, things fell into place. Rin was on the same wavelength as him, so communication was never a struggle. They understood each other and still do. 

“You read my mind,” Haru confirms and reluctantly pulls himself away from Rin. Any longer and he would have started to question himself. “Let’s finish our food. The chefs worked really hard on it.”

Rin takes a final look at the starry night before following Haru back inside. He hopes there will be more time in the future for them to enjoy all of life’s beauty together. And then the smell of mackerel reels him back to reality.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Haru sips tea in his chambers alone. Its warmth is just what he needs to help him combat the chilly weather. Winter is creeping up by the looks of the bare trees in the garden. He stares at the fireplace absent-mindedly, his mind replaying the events of yesterday. Everything seems surreal because Rin is here in the flesh. They had dinner together and briefly gazed at the stars. They talked, face-to-face. Something so natural felt awkward initially because Haru couldn’t believe how much Rin has grown. He will have many ladies chasing after him, if he doesn’t already. 

And to think Rin will have to compete with other men for the Princess of Hatsbury’s attention is laughable, really. Anyone with a good eye can see there’s a clear winner.

Haru grips the teacup in his hands tightly, a sudden wave of grief overcoming him. He doesn’t understand why he feels anything at all and where this feeling is coming from. Rin is simply attending a party because he received an invitation. His actions should not cause Haru any anguish. They have nothing to do with him, yet here he sits with the weight of a new burden. 

A knock on the door temporarily relieves Haru of his emotions. As king, he doesn’t need them to rule. 

“Come in,” he calls out.

A servant walks in with a note in hand. He bows to Haru before handing it over. “From Prince Rin, Your Majesty,” he informs him. 

As pleased as Haru is about the fact that Rin is thinking about him this morning, he wishes Rin would have come to him directly instead of sending a middleman. It’s not like they’re separated by thousands of miles anymore. The only thing standing between them are the castle walls.

“And he wants you to give him my reply, I presume?” Haru asks, toying with the red seal. 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Haru hears him reply as he gets up and heads for the guest chambers. “I’ll give it to him myself,” he calls out over his shoulder. 

Before he forgets, Haru tears off the seal and scans the note. He’d be an idiot to arrive with an answer for an inquiry he has no clue about.

_It’s a lovely day for riding. How about it?  
-Rin_

Immediately, Haru rolls his eyes. Rin must have become lazy over the years if he is unable to ask Haru such a simple question in person. How are they supposed to ride at length if Rin refuses to walk down a few hallways? Nonetheless, Haru would like to spend the day out in the countryside with his friend where there are no prying eyes.

But once he reaches Rin’s door, the weather takes a turn for the worst. What was once clear skies turn grey, riddled with storm clouds. Rain falls heavily and thunder rumbles in the distance. Haru can barely make out the sound of hurried footsteps outside. Everyone will be seeking shelter inside of the castle walls, forcing them to find something to entertain themselves with for the next few hours or more. Haru already knows Rin will not fare well under these circumstances because Rin enjoys basking in the sun’s light and getting his hands dirty. 

“Poor Rin,” Haru thinks to himself as he enters the guest chamber, unannounced. From the corner of his eye, he spots his friend sitting at the bay window, looking forlorn. The rain pelts down without any hope in sight. 

Before Haru can take another step forward, Rin shifts in his seat and almost falls to the floor. He expected to see his servant waiting with a note, but instead he has found something much better. Haru stands by the door, trying his best to muffle a laugh. 

“Did you see a ghost?” Haru manages to ask once he’s calmed himself down. 

Rin sneers at him and throws a cushion his way. It hits the mark. In the face. Haru reacts quickly, grabbing the closest object to him and chucks it at Rin. Seconds later an ink pot smashes against the wall. It shatters upon impact and leaves a dark splatter dripping down the stone. 

“Your Majesty, is everyone alright!?” a guard shouts before either man can fully register the situation. He and a few other guards rush inside of the room with their swords out. They notice the mess instantly. Someone mutters something about the devil and another about a declaration of war. 

Haru pinches the bridge of his nose, inhaling and exhaling slowly. He needs to sooth their unease before rumors spread far and wide. Heaven knows it only takes one piece of false information to bring down the peace Haru has worked so hard to upkeep. Throngs of people will run for the hills if they think Hell’s doors have opened up. And if they hear even a whisper of war, Haru might have to run for the hills himself. The country and imaginary enemy will want his head for the impending, needless bloodshed. 

“It’s just ink,” Haru explains in a level voice. As he retells the story of what just occurred, Haru makes sure to make eye contact with each and every guard. They need to understand that everyone in the castle is still safe. The entire situation was Haru’s fault and he’s sorry for alarming the guards. A king should act appropriately at all times because there are consequences for his every action, as they have just witnessed.

A collective sigh of relief escapes the guards’ lips. Their faces relax and they sheath their swords. “We are glad that no one is hurt. I’ll send for a maid to clean the wall,” one of the men say. They bow to the king and promptly exit. 

Rin looks up at Haru with wide eyes. They cause a new wave of concern to hit Haru. Did his abrupt actions frighten Rin to the core? Without thinking, Haru gets down onto his knees and clasps Rin’s hands in between his own. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, to scare you,” Haru laments. He can’t look at Rin directly, feeling ashamed for acting like a child. If his aim had been any better, who knows what would have become of Rin? Haru does not want to think about that possibility. 

Rin snickers. It’s not an everyday occurrence to have Haru at his feet like this, let alone a king. He must admit that having an ink pot thrown at him had scared him, but he moved the other way and knew Haru couldn’t hit a target even if it was an arm’s length away. Nonetheless, he is filled with joy to have Haru reaffirm how much he cares for him. Distance can make or break a relationship. In their case, it has only strengthened their bond. Rin withdraws one hand from Haru’s grasp to flick his friend on the forehead. 

“Thank you, but I’m okay, Haru,” Rin reassures the other in a soft voice. “Now look at me.”

Hesitantly, Haru lifts his head up. Rin smiles down at him and swoops in to peck him on the cheek. Haru’s face flushes red in an instant. The only other person who has ever shown him physical affection is his mother. 

“My sister learned that on her travels in the west. The people like to greet one another with a kiss and it’s also a gesture of thanks,” Rin reveals and turns his head away to hide his own flushed face. He thought the custom was silly when he initially heard it from Gou, his younger sister. Never did Rin think he’d want to kiss anyone to show appreciation, but Haru looked so sad and Rin needed to get his message across.

“Oh,” is all Haru can manage to get out as he rights himself to a standing position. His mind went blank for a second there. He wasn’t sure what to think and now that Rin has cleared the air, everything and nothing make sense. A tiny part of him wishes Rin had kissed him for a deeper reason, which makes Haru question himself. He must have had some bad fish last night. Yes, that is the only plausible explanation behind his strange thoughts. 

“Anyway, let me show you around the castle since we can’t go outside,” Haru tries his best to save himself. Instead of dwelling on things he can’t understand, he should focus on the whole reason he came to Rin’s chambers in the first place. 

Rin thought he sensed disappointment from Haru, but the other is back to normal in the blink of an eye. The weary weather has him off his game. “That sounds delightful. Let me inform my men and we’ll convene in front of the throne room.”

Haru offers Rin a small smile and then excuses himself from the room to allow them both to get ready. He crushes the parchment paper in his hand, frustration getting the better of him. 

 

In the privacy of his own rooms, Haru touches his cheek where Rin’s lips had been. It happened all too fast for him to react. But if he could go back in time, what would he have done differently? _It doesn’t matter_ , Haru thinks. Rin had said it himself, the kiss was nothing more but a gesture of thanks. Despite the reality of the situation, the irrational side of Haru hopes Rin will continue showing him gratitude.


	5. Chapter 5

As agreed upon, Haru and Rin meet up outside of the throne room. From there Haru takes them around the castle, to places they used to run around and other places Rin hasn’t seen yet. Up and down stairwells they go. Into secret passageways and past pillar upon pillar. The castle seemed massive all those years ago, like it contained the entire world behind its walls. Hallways looked like they’d never end and there were vast amounts of rooms to hide in. The ignorance of youth was bliss. Even though the magic is all gone and the illusion has faded, Haru and Rin find joy in the little things.

In the main dining hall is a crooked chair, fifth to the right of the seat of honor. That is where Rin sat during celebrations. One time a fly pestered him to no end and Rin leaned backwards more than he should have. Both he and the chair fell. Thankfully Rin came out unscathed. The same couldn’t be said for the chair. One leg broke off which should have made the chair useless, but Haru’s father insisted they “nail the damn thing back on”. 

Over at the south side of the castle is where the servants’ quarters lie. Haru liked to use that space during games of hide-n-seek because of the nooks and crannies only a sharp eye could spot. Rin always had a hard time finding Haru. There are just too many places to search through. During more than one instance, Rin gave up and trotted off to have a snack. Haru made sure to give him the silent treatment afterwards, as if that was a dreadful punishment. 

Then there’s the spacious cellar underneath the kitchens. Shipments of food and wine came on a weekly basis (and still do). The boys would take that window of opportunity to see what new arrivals awaited them from lands near and far. There were the typical favorites such as oranges, strawberries, and mackerel. Then there were the atypical treats left to be desired. Haru and Rin would take turns daring each other to eat the strangest foods they could possibly get their hands on. On one particular occasion Haru would love to forget happened right after he turned eleven years old. A small shipment of exotic fruits had arrived at the castle and the boys were already lying in wait nearby. Rin spotted a rather large, prickly fruit. If he had to guess, it was two times the size of his head. 

“Go ahead, Haru. Bon appétit!” Rin exclaimed with delight. 

Haru was apprehensive, but stabbed the fruit with a paring knife he took from the kitchens. Before he had time to make another cut, a foul odor hit him in the face. Rin was already running for shelter at that point, leaving Haru to waddle behind him. For the next few days, the two boys swore the stench lingered in the air around them. 

Forgotten memories come seeping back in as the two re-explore their childhood together on this tour.

 

“Ahh, I’m exhausted,” Rin sighs out as he sinks into the soft bergère. To his right is Haru. A table sits between them with tea, fruit, and biscuits set out. 

After a whole morning of walking around the grounds, the men finally take a break in Haru’s sitting room. It has a wonderful view of the garden during spring and summer. As for now, the trees have lost their leaves and barely any flowers bloom. It’s a dreary landscape, especially with the downpour, but in the coming weeks snow will make an appearance. A private winter wonderland for His Majesty. 

Haru nods in agreement and pours a cup of tea for each of them. Normally, a servant would help with this menial task, but Haru had them all dismissed in order to enjoy Rin’s company properly. 

“If only you were staying a little longer, then we could have taken our time,” Haru points out. 

“But I shall return on my way back to Cupere,” Rin reminds him. Because he is on a tight schedule to reach Hatsbury, he will have to depart the next morning. It’s unfortunate their time together will be cut short, but Rin will need to rest on his journey home later. 

They nibble on biscuits and sip tea while discussing their plans for when the time comes. Rin wants to take a trip to the swimming hole they frequented as children and stroll through the nearby village. He remembers eating a most exquisite cherry pie in one of the bakeries. It was a life-defining moment in his mind. All in all, Rin wants to relive old memories and make new ones with Haru. They will be more precious than any souvenir he can buy at a marketplace. Priceless. 

As they talk and talk throughout the afternoon, Haru sneaks in glances at Rin as if he’s making sure Rin’s still with him. His friend is so lost in the conversation that he doesn’t notice when Haru looks at him longingly for the umpteenth time. They’re so close, yet so far away from one another. Haru wonders what Rin has been thinking about when he’s alone, when they’re together. Is Haru on Rin’s mind as much as he is on Haru’s? The odd feelings that have been building up the past two days confuse Haru more and more, but right now he might have an inkling of what’s going on. If he shifts his hand slightly to the left, their hands will touch. But Haru wants more than that. He wants to hold Rin’s hand. To hold him in his arms and never let go. 

The temptation to bridge the minute gap between them is strong. Haru has the restraint of a saint though, so he pays the urge no attention because acting on it will change nothing between him and Rin. All he knows is that he wants to get closer physically, but that’s not a good enough reason to ruin what they have worked so hard to preserve. 

In the end, it is Rin who makes a move. He grabs ahold of Haru’s wrist and drags him up from his seat. 

“The rain has finally ceased!” Rin gestures towards the garden with his free hand. Haru spares a glance out the window and then returns his gaze to the main attraction. He couldn’t care less about the miraculous change in weather when Rin is beaming like a child after receiving a present. Slowly, the room is bathed in the afternoon sun. Rays of light reflect off the many puddles in the garden, a twinkling sea that draws Rin’s attention. Without saying a single word, Haru leads them towards the French doors. He can tell how badly his friend wants to go outside despite how drenched and muddy the grounds are. For now, Haru will take one for the team. He will bathe longer than usual later and take a scolding from various members of the household for being so reckless. Anything for Rin.

“What are you waiting for?” Haru asks when he notices Rin stiffen up.

“Our clothes —” Rin starts, but Haru doesn’t let him finish. He draws the doors open and runs out without thinking. His shoes make a squelching sound in the dirt. There’s really no turning back now. 

“By order of the King, come join me,” Haru commands, his hand outstretched.

All hesitation and concern dissipate. Rin smiles more brightly than before (if that’s even possible) and accepts Haru’s hand readily. He gives it a gentle squeeze. Maybe it’s just the adrenaline rush messing with him, but Rin is acutely aware of how warm Haru’s hand is and more than anything else, how he wishes he never had to let it go.


	6. Chapter 6

“Don’t look so forlorn, Your Majesty,” Makoto chides. 

Haru doesn’t acknowledge his chief advisor’s words, but spares a glance at his reflection in the mirror as servants dress him. His signature aloof expression has been replaced with one of deep sorrow, like a widow in mourning. The corners of his mouth downturned. Eyes devoid of life. Haru can’t help it, really. In less than two hours, he must see Rin and his entourage off. The occasion itself will be brief and mundane, but below the surface runs a stream of agony because Haru has finally come to accept the reality of his feelings for Rin. He no longer wonders what troubles his heart like an ignorant fool.

Yesterday helped wash away any lingering confusion Haru held. Having Rin by his side the entire time brought him wave after wave of bliss that he wished never had to end. He wants to drown in everything Rin has to offer him. These desires are uncharted waters for Haru, but he will dive in without hesitation. As king of an entire nation, Haru has had to put the needs of others before his own. He can not afford to be selfish and never had a reason to. Even his swimming escapades have taken a place on the back-burner more than once when duty called. And now for the first time in his life, Haru is tempted to follow his heart without regards to those around him. The only thing stopping him from submerging himself deep in desire is the object of desire itself, Rin.

Haru’s feelings are not reciprocated. Rin merely sees Haru as a close friend. Nothing more, nothing less. His actions may sometimes make Haru question the intentions behind them, but it’s only false hope. If Rin actually loved him, he would have said something already. After all, Rin is the type to say whatever is on his mind. How in the world Haru fell in love with someone who doesn’t know when to shut their trap, he’ll never know.

And most importantly, Rin will be off to meet the Princess of Hatsbury. Even if she ends up choosing another gentleman to wed, there are plenty of other suitable ladies throughout the lands. Noble families would love to raise their ranks further by marrying off their daughters or nieces to a future king. Fellow royalty would love to seal an alliance with a powerful nation. No matter who Rin takes to the altar with him, one thing is for certain. She will be a woman, lovely, beautiful, dignified, graceful, and delicate. Everything Haru can never be.

Haru is resolved on loving Rin from afar. It will hurt without a doubt, but love is about being selfless which Haru has had many years of practice of.

A sudden tug of his hair brings Haru out of his reverie. He hisses softly. 

“Ah, Your Majesty, I-I am very s-sorry,” the barber stammers and looks to Haru for permission to continue. Haru mutters a half-hearted reply and stands still as he lets the barber fuss with his hair. 

Once Haru looks presentable, Makoto shoos everyone else out of the room. He turns to Haru, looking peeved. Any worse will cause him to pop a blood vessel. 

“Spacing out is unlike you. I had to answer in your stead when the servants asked questions. Even the most minute of things will send rumors flying about,” Makoto reminds him sternly. “You’re lucky being a merman is the worst people have said about you. _For now_.”

Haru concedes with a nod and heads for the door. He glances over his shoulder when the sound of silence follows behind him. Makoto hasn’t moved from his spot.

“What are you doing, Tachibana? We have to say goodbye to Prince Rin,” Haru says plainly.

Makoto shakes his head and catches up to Haru to open the door for him. Haru usually has a retort on the tip of his tongue, ready to counter whatever Makoto has to say and yet today he’s met without resistance. He won’t question the change of character because quite frankly, Makoto has been waiting for Haru’s compliance. The constant pushing and pulling between them is unproductive and embarrassing. A king and his chief advisor should be on the same page. Makoto hopes this new Haru will lead to less stressful days. 

 

The courtyard is in a frenzy with Rin’s men running around making sure they have packed everything and prepared sufficiently for the journey ahead. The horses have been fed and watered, trunks secured, and all men accounted for except for Rin. Haru has an inkling of his whereabouts. He would fetch him himself, but Makoto would say that’s unbefitting of a king. _You don’t go to people, people come to you_.

Being the dutiful and responsible king he is, Haru stands in place with Makoto beside him. They receive a few apologies from Rin’s men for the prince’s disrespect and Haru kindly accepts them. If it was anyone else keeping him in wait, Haru would immediately walk away to attend to other business. In fact, he could wait out here all day in the courtyard because that would mean Rin is still here. 

Nearly twenty minutes later, the man of the hour makes an appearance in all his glory. Rin wouldn’t be Rin if he was on time. He looks refreshed and lively, a bright smile on his face. His appearance is a stark contrast to the unease and humiliation his entourage share amongst themselves. 

“Now, now! Cheer up everyone. We are still in King Haruka’s home and must show him appreciation for housing us these past couple of days,” Rin chides softly. As if on cue, almost the entire courtyard bows to Haru. 

Haru doesn’t let his embarrassment show and commands everyone to upright themselves. “It was a pleasure and absolute honor to have you in my company, Prince Rin,” Haru begins as he walks towards Rin. He just needs one last look up-close of the man who has stolen his heart. The rational side of him wants to flee because nothing good can come of this, it will only further hurt Haru. But good sense is nothing compared to the drive and desire pushing him forward one step at a time. “Please, come visit again...” His mind blanks once he’s face-to-face with Rin, so his body moves on its accord. His hand grabs a fistful of Rin’s riding cloak and pulls the prince closer. Haru presses a kiss to Rin’s cheek. Immediately afterwards, he takes a step back to distance himself and blurts out, “Thank you for being a most wondrous guest!”

Haru is mortified by his actions. He let his desire get in the way and stripped himself of his dignity in one fell swoop. Everyone present has just bared witness to the beginning of his decline as king. Haru can imagine how the nearby towns will cause uproars and eventually they’ll spread to the cities and countryside. Soon the entire country will be up in flames. A target will be put on Haru’s back and he’ll have to seek asylum overseas, assuming he can escape with his life. 

Rin can see the inner turmoil running havoc in Haru’s mind. To everyone else, the King has simply fallen silent. He suppresses a laugh threatening to surface and closes the gap between them. “Thank you for being a most gracious host, _Your Majesty_.” Rin responds with a kiss of his own, barely brushing the corner of Haru’s mouth to tease him (and test the waters). Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think Haru would be so bold. But the sudden audacity gives Rin hope that maybe, just maybe, Haru feels the same way he does. He knows Haru is not the biggest fan of physical affection, or any affection for that matter, but today he stepped out of his comfort zone. Love makes people do crazy things, right?

“We must get going now while the sun is still out. Farewell, King Haruka. I will definitely return. May Ancora continue to be prosperous!” Rin cries out enthusiastically as he mounts his steed. He gives the frozen Haru a parting smile.

“And the same to you, Prince Rin. We all pray you reach Hatsbury safely,” Makoto speaks up and watches the small procession exit the gates. 

Haru tries to utter some last words to impart upon Rin. Nothing comes out. All he can do is stare at Rin’s receding figure, quietly yearning for something he can never have. The heavy heart he carries will always be with him, but over time he can learn to endure the pain. He isn’t the first person in history to live with a forbidden and unrequited love, so there is life beyond the darkness surrounding him. Haru hopes to be a stronger man by the time Rin visits again on his way home. They can return to normal and move forward in their friendship. 

Sooner rather than later, Rin and his men are mere ants in the distance.

“What do you think you were doing!?” Makoto seethes, restraining himself from shaking some sense into the pathetic man standing before him. 

Haru knows whatever answer he gives Makoto will only be an excuse. Nothing he says can erase the past few shameful minutes. Historians will write about how outrageous Nanase Haruka, King of Ancora, was during the last days of his reign.

“Silence again? You have to get your act together, Your Majesty,” Makoto nearly pleads. “What you just did… What if people start getting the wrong idea about you? Our dearest king, a sinner.” Haru has been a dutiful king for many years now and the people of this country have plenty of faith in him, but faith is fickle like a lit candle. A momentary upset is all it takes to blow it out.

Haru wants to say the people would not be wrong because he does indeed love Rin. Whether or not he’s a sinner does not matter though because Haru swears he’ll never act on his feelings again. 

The pair begins to head back towards the castle, back to their mundane lives. Scheduled after the farewell is a meeting with the royal treasurer to discuss the finances behind the upcoming Winter Gala, a celebration for the season of giving and new year. Citizens of all classes are welcome to join in the week-long festivity which makes it quite the expensive affair, another crude show of fortune.

“When we meet with Lord Ryugazaki, please try not to nod off like last month,” Makoto groans, remembering how outraged the treasurer was over the slight. 

“I was tired, okay? You don’t have to bring —” Haru begins to defend himself and pauses at the sound of the trumpet. Someone is coming. 

Perhaps Rin turned around to profess his undying love for Haru. The possibility has Haru holding his breath. He knows he’s delusional with such high hopes, but he’s come to expect the unexpected. Who would have guessed Rin would show up at his door out of nowhere? And for Cupid to strike Haru with one of his arrows, a seer could not have seen it coming. 

A lone rider approaches the castle gates, wisps of red hair peeking out from underneath their dark hood. Haru’s heart skips a beat. 

Makoto is not one bit fazed by the sudden turn of events. He beckons over a nearby servant, exchanging some brief words and sending them off running. 

“Open the gates,” Makoto commands. “The queen mother is returning home!”

“You stole my job, Lord Ta-Chi-Ba-Na!!!,” an annoying shrill fills the air, followed by a chuckle. 

The hooded man dismounts and reveals his face. Shina Asahi, newly appointed messenger to the queen mother. 

“Is that any way to speak around your king?” Makoto sighs out, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Ah! Your Majesty, let me apologize!” Asahi squeaks as he gets down on one knee and bows his head in reverence. “I didn’t notice you were there. You’re so easy to mi —” A smack comes down from behind.

Haru would thank Makoto if he were not dreadly disappointed because Rin is gone and now his mother is back. The heavens do not look down on him so kindly anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

A familiar carriage Haru has not seen in months comes to a full stop in the middle of the courtyard. It looks plain on the outside in order to not draw any unwanted attention. An attendant hops off the back and opens the door, revealing the upholstered benches and fur-lined walls. Out steps a poised woman of short stature, her hair is pulled back and hidden underneath a jeweled headdress. Her gown is less impressive, but anyone with a trained eye can tell it’s made with the finest fabrics. Two ladies-in-waiting climb out of the carriage after the woman. They all wear similar stern expressions on their faces.

“What a dismal homecoming,” the first woman remarks, looking around at her surroundings critically. 

Makoto bows his head and then puts on his best smile. “Your Majesty, welcome home. You were dearly missed by us all.”

The queen mother smiles snidely in return. “Thank you, Lord Tachibana. I can tell you were all nearly in mourning during my absence, especially my son, though I would wager he is mourning something else entirely at the moment.” She turns her attention to Haru, who stands before her with a blank expression on his face. He was never the type to show any emotion, even as a child, but she is his mother and can tell what lies behind the mask. “Haruka, it’s lovely to see you, too.”

“Mother,” Haru acknowledges her presence. Nothing more. Their relationship is strained at best , so their interactions in public are pretenses to keep up appearances. 

“I see. I would like to have tea in the garden with the King,” the queen mother announces to no one in particular. She beckons her ladies to follow her into the castle.

“But it’s cold outside. Wouldn’t you prefer to be indoors?” Makoto suggests.

She gestures to the carriage. “I’ve been in that damned thing for hours. Fresh air will do me some good… and him.”

Haru has never looked forward to a meeting, until now. Hopefully this little tea party will pass over quickly.

 

Haru adds spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his tea as he listens to his mother drawl on about her trip around the southern regions of Ancora, where it is much warmer this time of year. It is a tropical paradise compared to the frigid wasteland the northern regions will be for the next few months. He can not blame her for wanting to escape and wishes she would have stayed away longer. It is not to say that he doesn’t love his mother because deep down he does. She is the woman who gave him the gift of life, after all. Only a heartless man could abandon his mother.

“Haruka, stop that foolishness. You’re not a child anymore.” His mother swats the back of his hand, causing the spoon of sugar in his hand to pour down on the table. Immediately, a servant steps in to clean up the mess. 

“I guess we are done talking here,” Haru sighs out and moves his chair back. He wonders if Lord Ryugazaki is wearing another one of his colorful ensembles. His treasurer has always had a taste for the tackier side of fashion. 

“No, we are not. Tell me what I’ve missed these past two months.” His mother stares down at him. She won’t be taking no for an answer. 

“Tachibana could always fill you in,” Haru reminds her and takes a sip of his tea. The next second he’s having a coughing fit, having forgotten about how cloyingly sweet he made his tea. 

His mother smirks at him as she waits for him to calm down. 

Haru tells her all about the mundane day-to-day activities, Makoto’s nagging, the steady shift of the seasons, and of course, Rin. He doesn’t elaborate in order to preserve as many of the memories as possible, unsoiled by his mother’s unnecessary criticism. 

“Rin, as in the Prince of Cupere?” his mother asks, wide-eyed.

Haru nods.

“Why didn’t you send for me? I raised that boy under my roof for nearly a decade. I would have loved to see how much he has grown since I last saw him.” Her voice is filled with a sudden surge of emotions. It doesn’t faze Haru in the slightest. Why wouldn’t his mother adore the child she didn’t have to personally take care of, to bicker with, to lose sleep over? Rin had his nannies and the queen, at the time, only needed to play the lovely host.

“Because he was in a hurry,” Haru half-lies. It is true that Rin could not stay for long, but the real reason Haru didn’t send for his mother was because he had completely forgotten about her — or only had Rin on his mind, to be exact. Gold could have rained down from the heavens and Haru would not have noticed.

“Did you two have a falling-out? You two were joined at the hip as children. There is no way Rin would leave so quickly.” Her mood sours almost instantly.

“Hatsbury. Rin needs to reach Hatsbury in less than two weeks,” Haru reluctantly replies.

“Hatsbury? Hatsbury….” His mother mulls over the word, trying to figure out why it rings a bell. 

And then it hits her. 

“Why didn’t you follow him!?” she squawks. “You’re in need of a bride yourself.”

Haru does not need to be reminded of that. In fact, he’s been trying really hard to forget about the one duty he wishes didn’t exist. A king can rule just fine without a woman by his side, nor does he need an heir waiting to take his place on the throne. The problems only arise when the king has passed and there is no one to lead the people. Relatives of varying degrees and foreign powers will try to stake their claim in the vacuum left behind. Why should Haru care about what happens after he is long gone? 

“I already declined,” Haru states. “Now, I have to meet with Lord Ryugazaki. I’ve kept him waiting long enough.” He’s sure Makoto has the treasurer occupied with the newest furs that came in the other day, but he can’t stand to be in same space as his mother any longer. He gets up from his seat and scurries off. 

“You may walk away now, but one day you’ll have to take this matter seriously. If not for yourself or me, then for your country. You can’t betray the very people who bestowed that crown upon your head,” his mother snaps at his back.

Haru falters in his step for a brief moment before composing himself again. He can’t let his mother’s words get to him, no matter how true they may be. He must stand strong in the face of adversity.


	8. Chapter 8

“How much longer until we’re there?” Rin whines from inside the carriage for the umpteenth time. Initially, he wanted to ride all the way to Hatsbury on his horse, but he could not stand how long the days dragged on on the road. He thought it would be best to simply sleep the days away in comfort. It turns out a man can only get so much rest before he becomes restless. Rin finds himself fidgeting around in his seat, peaking out from behind the curtains to see if they have made it to the next town yet. Sometimes it feels like they pass the same stretch of land over and over again. The scenery never changes.

The sooner he and his men reach Hatsbury, the sooner they can go home. His eagerness has caught everyone off-guard because their dear prince has always been fond of adventures, but all Rin can do is pretend he doesn’t notice their surprise. He can not openly admit to falling for his childhood best friend, yet. He first needs Haru to return his feelings. Once that happens, Rin is not afraid to let the entire world know. Who cares if their love is taboo? No one has ever said love is an easy road anyway. Rin will do whatever it takes to make people accept them. And if at the end of the day no one does, that is okay too. The only person who matters in his eyes is Haru.

_Stop getting ahead of yourself, Matsuoka_ , Rin thinks to himself and puffs out his cheeks. He hates daydreaming about a future that may never come, but at the same time, it helps keep his mood up. There are still six more days of riding and holing up at various inns, assuming the local town has one. As they get further and further into the countryside, the smaller the towns become. Rin and his men are prepared to set up camp overnight just in case.

After an hour or two or even three, Rin can’t tell anymore, the carriage comes to a steady stop. 

“We’re taking a break to water the horses, Your Highness,” the coachman announces over the sounds of whinnying horses and chattering men. 

Rin takes this opportunity to stretch out his legs. He hops out of the carriage and watches as the horses are being led to a nearby stream. The weather is rather pleasant for the time of year. Winter is slowly settling in where autumn has left. Rin remembers being impatient as he waited for the first snowfall. Haru had to remind him every year that the snow is unpredictable. Some years it comes early and other years later. Rin wonders what it will be this year.

“Delighted to meet your soon-to-be bride?” Minami teases. He is the fastest rider in the land and works directly under the King of Cupere as a messenger, but was ordered to accompany Rin on his journey. If everything goes well, Minami will ride back home ahead of the rest to deliver the great news. A marriage contract can be drafted up sooner which in theory leads to a sooner wedding.

“What makes you say that?” Rin furrows his brows. “And who says she’s going to be my bride? There will be plenty of other suitable bachelors there as well.”

“True,” Minami admits. “But you will be one of the very few _princes_ in attendance. This world is greedy, so you can bet her father will want her to marry a future king if he can help it.”

Rin knows all too well how greedy the world truly is. Growing up, everyone wanted to cozy up to his side not because they wanted to be his friend, but because they wanted some of his power and riches. Even to this day, there are still asinine men and women who try to enter his inner circle. Rin can tell their motives are far from pure. Avarice is written all over their faces.

“Well, whatever happens, happens. I just want to have a merry time,” Rin explains and heads over to the stream himself. The running water is calling his name. Minami follows behind him dutifully. “Your Highness, please. I hope you try your best in wooing the princess, though you are a natural at drawing people in. Your father, His Royal Majesty, would like nothing more than to see you wed as soon as possible.”

“My father, my mother, my sister, the whole entire country! I’m sure everyone would be beyond delighted.” Rin crouches down on the bank, taking care not to slip and make a mess of his clothes. 

“I am glad you see it that way,” Minami sighs out in relief. 

“But look at King Haruka, for example. He is twenty-three and still unwed. His country has not fallen to ruin, so we can expect similar results if I continue down the same path.” Rin has always followed his father’s orders and believes it’s about time he forge his own way through the world. Life would be awfully dull if he were to stay a puppet forever. The strings need to be cut.

Minami’s shoulder sag. “I hope you jest.”

“Of course, of course,” Rin reassures him half-heartedly and tosses his boots the messenger’s way. “Catch!” He rolls up the legs of his pants before stepping into the stream. A few other men follow along. The water is a little too cold for comfort, but it is just what everyone needs to wake them up after an exhausting ride.

Minami is left stranded to watch a group of grown men splash around like children.

 

“Your Majesty, please come back inside before you get caught in a snowstorm,” Makoto worries, escorting Haru away from the balcony and back into the room.

“But the first snow has yet to fall,” Haru points out. He looks over his shoulder to steal one last glance at the grey sky.

Makoto makes sure the double doors are locked behind them. “Yes, but you never know when it will come. We can not afford to have you sick.”

Haru has a feeling that the snow will arrive sooner than later, but keeps this thought to himself.


	9. Chapter 9

A commotion brews out in the courtyard. Haru stirs in his sleep. The sounds carry into his bedchamber through a window he forgot to close and then a sudden breeze passes through. Haru unconsciously burrows himself further under the covers for warmth. Gradually, the tension outside builds and builds until it reaches its breaking point, causing voices to rise and swords to be unsheathed. 

“Unhand me at once, you fools,” a man snarls. “I have arrived in the name of Prince Rin.”

“You make such absurd claims, but refuse to give us any concrete proof,” one of the guardsmen states plainly. If people could come and go from the castle as they so pleased, the country would go through too many kings to count. 

“As I said before, I have proof, but it is only for the King’s eyes,” the man replies vehemently, staring down the men and their swords as if they were not a threat. 

Haru grumbles upon being roused from his sleep and shifts into a more comfortable position in the hopes of drifting off easily. Not even a minute passes by before he’s kicking the blankets away. The voices outside continue on with no courtesy towards the sleeping folks in the castle. What in heaven’s name is going on? Haru sits still for a moment to figure out the source of his irritation and the incessant arguing from his window gives it away. He doesn’t bother checking out the window first to give himself a preview of the mess he will have to face. Instead, he throws on a robe and makes a beeline for the courtyard to settle the matter as soon as possible so he can go back to sleep. Every minute is precious to him, more so as of late, because his days have consisted of nothing but planning for the Winter Gala. It is a celebration for the season of giving and the end of the year. Makoto keeps Haru on a strict schedule to ensure deadlines are met which means there is no time to rest in between tasks. The night is the only blessed time Haru receives for himself, so anyone who dares to try to take it away from him will have to pay dearly.

The hallways are dimly lit and the men on duty slump at their posts, but immediately straighten up at the sight of their king. Haru rushes past them. Some of the men do a double take to make sure their eyes are not deceiving them. 

Haru stomps out into the courtyard, glaring at the group of guards gathered together by the gates. “Someone please explain to me why I am out here in the middle of the night,” Haru inhales slowly and raises his hand to pause the crowd from speaking. “And before anyone tries to answer me, let me remind you that I am a hair’s breadth away from cutting your heads off.” 

A heavy silence ensues. No one wants to take on the king’s anger directly. Haru has a lax nature for the most part, so when he loses his temper, everyone takes care to stay away. 

Eventually, a brave soul speaks up. It’s a wise choice. If they made Haru wait any longer, blood would spill and heads would roll. “Your Majesty, this intruder insists he works with Prince Rin and has business with you.” They step aside to allow Haru a better view of the intruder who is restrained by two guards.

“But he refuses to provide verification, Your Majesty,” someone else tacks on. 

Rin. Just his name causes Haru’s heart to flutter. So much for trying his best to forget about the blossoming feelings he has. Haru thought he made some progress these past couple of weeks, it is mostly thanks to the never ending workload on his plate. He had no time to think about Rin when all his attention was focused on the Winter Gala. Haru can not begin to fathom what his reaction will be like when Rin arrives in the flesh. If the feeling in his chest is of any indication, he will have to prepare for the worst.

The intruder’s face is barely visible under the moonlight. Haru grabs the nearest torch out of its sconce and carefully brings it closer to the intruder. The flames reflect off his dead eyes. Upon closer inspection, Haru has an inkling of who this man may be. 

“You arrived with Prince Rin a couple weeks back, didn’t you?” Haru says carefully.

The man sighs in exasperation and tries to wriggle free from his captors. “Finally! Someone with half a brain. It is I, Minami Kazuki. I have arrived under Prince Rin’s orders.” The hold on him tightens and he’s met with a knee to the gut.

“He is our king. I don’t give a fuck about who you are, you better learn your manners really fast before I bash your pretty little face.”

“Enough,” Haru warns the attacker and everyone else. He will not allow any violence without justification.

Haru wants to believe Minami and lay the matter at hand to rest, but he would be a fool to freely accept the man’s words at face value without any evidence to back them up. King or not, he must be careful. 

“Do you have anything to back up your claims?” 

“Yes, but first get these dolts off of me,” Minami grunts. At any moment now, he is going to lose all circulation to his arms. 

Hesitantly, Haru commands everyone to stand down and let Minami, or whoever the hell he is, go. Minami cries out appreciatively as he stretches out his limbs, making sure they still are of use. Once everything is in check, he takes a step closer to Haru. 

“I think that is close enough. Now show me your proof because I do not like playing games.” 

Minami glances over his shoulder before reaching into his cloak slowly to show he does not mean any harm to the king. He pulls out a letter. It is nothing out of the ordinary, plain parchment paper folded up and sealed with wax. Haru is about to arrest the man for deceiving him when he notices the imprint in the wax. He can barely make it out, but there is no doubt. Rin’s personal seal. 

“I apologize for the mistreatment,” Haru mutters in disbelief as he snatches the letter out of Minami’s hands. “If there’s anything I can do to remedy the —”

“A place to rest my ass would be lovely, Your Majesty,” Minami declares. He doesn’t flinch at the sound of grumbling behind him. 

“Yes, of course. I will have a room prepared for you at once. In the meantime, I would like to ask you some questions.” Haru gestures for Minami to follow him inside of the castle and into his sitting room. 

Once they are behind closed doors, he throws all formality out the window. There is no time to sit down and exchange pleasantries over tea. Haru asks the one question on his mind. “Is Rin okay?” Ever since Rin left for Hatsbury, the days have been a blur for Haru. If it was not for Makoto’s schedule, he would never know what day of the week it is. If Haru is remembering correctly, Rin should be returning from his trip in less than a week. What could be so urgent that he could not wait a few days? For all Haru knows, he is holding onto Rin’s dying words. It makes his stomach churn.

“Yes, he is. The last time I saw Prince Rin he was in the midst of a shooting match with some no name duke,” Minami replies. His words soothe Haru’s worries about Rin’s well-being, but now a whole plethora of new questions arise. Why was Rin having a shooting match? Did he woo the princess upon arrival and wanted to share the news as soon as possible? What the hell is Rin thinking? Or better yet, is Rin thinking at all?

“Don’t overthink things, Your Majesty. I’m sure everything you want to know is in that letter.” 

Haru’s face flushes in embarrassment and he turns away to avoid further embarrassment. How could he let himself to be so obvious?

A knock on the door forces Haru to pull himself together. Standing out in the hallway is a servant ready to take their guest to his room for the night. 

“I would wish you a peaceful night, but I highly doubt an urgent missive would allow anyone to rest well. Nonetheless, good night, Your Majesty,” Minami whispers and bows before following the servant.

Haru follows Minami and the servant with his eyes until the pair disappears around a corner. He sighs to himself, making his way to his bed chamber. Usually, Haru reads Rin’s letters in the study, but the night isn’t getting any younger. He does not want to wake up with a splotch of ink on his cheek and a sore back. Again. Before Haru makes himself comfortable, he remembers to shut the window from earlier before. He will be damned if he wakes up to another commotion. 

Haru settles into the bed and breaks the seal without a second thought. He unfolds the letter with care. Immediately, he is taken aback by how little there is written. Rin has never understood the concept of brevity and could describe an insignificant event at length. 

Once the initial shock wears away, Haru begins to read. 

_Dear Haru,_

_During the trip to Hatsbury, all I could think about was how much I wanted to go home, to you. To state it plainly, I love you. If you do not feel the same way, feel free to deny me from your home when I return. But if you do love me too, I have a surprise waiting for you. Whatever you decide, Haru, I will respect your wishes._

_Love,  
Rin_

Any resolve Haru had left in him melts away at Rin’s words. How can he continue denying himself when he now knows for certain Rin loves him? The reality of the situation is terrifying, not knowing what lies ahead, but at least Haru will have Rin there by his side along the way.

_Come back home safely and swiftly._

Haru does not sleep a wink that night.


	10. Chapter 10

If Rin squints, he can barely make out the tiny blob in the distance. The falling snow makes it difficult to focus, but he is certain of what lies ahead. 

After a week filled with exhausting activities, Rin can not wait to rest his feet by the fireplace and disappear from the world. An hour is all he asks for. Once recuperated, he will have an overdue conversation with Haru to figure out what direction they will be headed together. Rin’s plans will be all for naught if Haru casts him away from the castle. A part of him understands there is a chance he won’t be welcomed in the Nanase household any longer, so Rin has prepared himself mentally for the potential fallout. He would embarrass himself and his country if he were to lash out or throw a tantrum. 

“I’m going to ride ahead,” Rin calls out to no one in particular. He wants to know Haru’s answer, whether it be positive or negative. The sooner he finds out, the more time he’ll have to spend with the one he loves or recover from a wounded heart.

“Your Royal Highness, it would be most unwise to hurry under these weather conditions,” a guard cautions. “We know you can not wait to see King Haru again, but your father will have our heads if anything were to happen to you.”

Rin furrows his brows, but does not say a word of resistance. As a prince, and future king, he needs to live with the fact that his decisions affect everyone around him. There is no room to be selfish. Rin despises this heavy burden and he doesn’t even wear the crown yet. He can only begin to imagine how Haru feels with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Slowly but surely, the tiny blob begins to take the form of a castle. The closer the group gets, the more details Rin can see from the various turrets to the fluttering banners. He can feel his heart beating faster as well. There is no telling what will happen once he reaches the castle gates. In a perfect world, Haru will stand waiting in the courtyard and run over to Rin, embracing him in front of everyone without a care in the world. 

 

“Who goes there?” the gatekeeper addresses the small party. 

“Matsuoka Rin, Prince of Cupere,” Rin announces, pulling back his hood. The frigid air bites his cheeks and snowflakes collect in his hair. 

Time passes by at a snail’s pace or so it seems. Rin can not tell how long it’s been, but his heart can only wait so long. It threatens to burst out of its cage. 

Eventually, the large wooden gates creak open. Standing in the middle of the courtyard is a small woman covered in furs, on either side of her is a line of guards. Her eyes light up at the sight of Rin, but custom chains her down. She must stay poised to preserve the name of the Nanase’s. 

“On behalf of His Majesty, I welcome you to court, Prince Rin,” the queen mother greets the men.

Rin is disappointed that Haru is not here to personally welcome him and his lack of presence makes Rin worry. Haru might have bent to his mother’s whim to let Rin inside of the castle even though he does not care to return his feelings. It is no surprise to anyone that the queen mother adored Rin during his stay here as a child, so of course she’d want to see him again. But what of Haru? The king’s stance is still shrouded in mystery. 

“Your Majesty, it is an honor to be here before you,” Rin says steadily, burying the negative emotions for a later time. 

“His Majesty is in a meeting right now and won’t be able to greet you until the evening. In the meantime, please get settled in your quarters and we will all catch up over supper,” the queen mother states.

From there on, Rin is taken to the same room assigned to him during the previous visit. The ink mess on the wall is long gone, but the memory of it brings a smile to Rin’s face. He remembers all too fondly of Haru’s out-of-character response to the incident, the fear in his eyes and the subtle tenderness in his voice. Rin is probably the only person to ever witness this other side of Haru. What other sides to him has Rin yet to see? Whatever they may be, he wants to experience them all. 

Knowing he will have free time until supper, Rin fetches a servant to light the fireplace. He lies down on the chaise lounge and falls asleep to the sound of crackling in the background.

 

“This meeting is adjourned,” Haru nearly sings. He’s been cooped up in the council room for way too long and yearned for freedom. Makoto kept him in check the entire time.

Members of the council bow and bid the pair a farewell on their way out, shuffling behind one another like a mother duck and her ducklings. The men look the part with their heavy coats, shielding them from the castle draft in the halls. Normally, folks linger in the halls for a chat or some other business, but nowadays they take refuge in their rooms. Only the guardsmen hang about in their posts.

“Now that wasn’t too bad, was it?” Makoto asks as he collects his materials, keeping them neat and orderly. 

Haru shrugs. “There were a million other places I would have rather been, but I could have been murdered as well, so today was a good day.”

Makoto frowns at Haru’s response, shaking his head. “Your Majesty, please. That sort of humor is unbecoming of a king.”

“Which is why I share it with only a select few. I trust you, Tachibana,” Haru reassures him. “Now, is there anything else on the agenda or can I retire for the day?”

Makoto goes over the list he prepared the day before. The last item on it is the council meeting. “No, but tonight the queen mother would like to dine with you —”

“Tell her I can’t,” Haru cuts him off. He already knows how the evening will go, as it always does. They pretend to take interest in each other’s day before she pesters him about potential wives. 

“And Prince Rin,” Makoto continues. “He arrived earlier today. The servant from before informed me.”

Haru feels his stomach drop. He knew Rin would be arriving any day now, but had secretly hoped the snowfall would slow down the party. He is not prepared to face Rin because the territory they are about to enter is completely foreign to him. The unknown is terrifying. As a child, his parents guided him. As an adult, he has Makoto. If he and Rin come across a bump in the road, who is going to come to their aid? 

“Oh, well in that case I will join them,” Haru concedes. “Until then, no one is to disturb me.”

Haru does not wait for a reply from Makoto. He hurries out of the council room and hides in the safety of his chambers. Panic sets in the silence. Haru curls up into a ball on the floor, praying for a higher power to come save him. Not even a whisper answers his cry for help. He feels absolutely vulnerable and pathetic, the epitome of a weak monarch. How is it possible to stand on the world stage without blinking, but cower in the face of love? Afterall, he loves plenty of things: water, his parents, and mackerel. But if Haru is going to be honest with himself, what he feels for Rin is much stronger.

_I guess this is why people say love is the best and worst thing man can ever come across._

Haru is completely out of his element, like a fish out of water. It feels like the walls are enclosing on him. The air, it suffocates him.

 

Haru stirs in his sleep. There are voices buzzing in his ear. He unconsciously burrows himself further under the covers as if to escape. 

“Your Majesty, Your Majesty,” someone repeats in an urgent whisper.

“Please leave me alone,” Haru groans. When will this nightmare of sleepless sleep ever end?

“Your Majesty, please wake up,” the voice urges. 

Haru gives in unwillingly. He opens his eyes, expecting to be greeted by the morning light, but instead he’s met with the roaring fireplace illuminating the otherwise dark room. How long did he fall asleep for?

“What time is it?” Haru asks.

“Oh! Your Majesty, thank goodness. We were so worried about you.” Though slightly groggy, Haru can recognize the voice. It belongs to Makoto. 

Haru does not fully understand what Makoto means until he tries to sit up. A moist towel falls from his forehead and the chief advisor gently pushes him back down. 

“You musn’t strain yourself. The physician said you probably passed out due to fatigue, nothing serious, but please don’t push yourself.” Makoto replaces the towel with a fresh one.

“Passed out? For how long?” 

“Approximately six hours. We don’t know exactly because a servant found you on the floor when it was time to prepare for supper,” Makoto explains and smiles wryly when he notices the worry lines on Haru’s face.

Haru closes his eyes again as he takes in this new information. It is rather alarming that he lost so much time, but is thankful his situation isn’t any worse. He’s heard of cases in which people did not wake for days, and even weeks. 

“Does Prince Rin know about this?” Haru would feel guilty for worrying the other over nothing serious.

“A little. We told him you were feeling under the weather, therefore could not dine with him and the queen mother. Speaking of the queen mother, she sits outside waiting,” Makoto informs him and glances over at the door. The queen mother was the first to be informed of the cause behind Haru’s condition, yet she chose to camp outside of the king’s chambers like she expected a turn for the worst. Despite what others have been saying, she refuses to leave her spot.

“I see,” Haru mutters to himself. As much as he would like to see Rin immediately, he knows he must speak with his mother first. “Bring my mother here and wait outside. Once she leaves, have a servant fetch Prince Rin.”

“It’s nearly midnight, Your Majesty. It would be rude of us to wake the prince,” Makoto reminds him.

“The day Rin adopts a proper sleep schedule will be the day gold rains from the skies.”

Makoto laughs nervously and concedes unwillingly. “Alright, but only because I am offering you my pity.”

Haru chuckles. “I don’t need your pity, just your loyalty.”

 

“Haruka, my dearest child!” the queen mother exclaims upon entering the king’s chambers and rushes over to the bedside, kneeling down and clasping onto his hand. “I feared for the worst.”

“Tachibana told me you are aware of the fact that I passed out due to fatigue,” Haru deadpans. He does not have time to sympathize with her and her act.

“Yes, but I am your mother and you are my only child. Of course I would naturally worry for you no matter what,” she says as she squeezes his hand a little too hard for comfort.

Haru does not understand why she insists on continuing to play the concerned mother role when the two of them are alone. No one is watching and analyzing their every move. Perhaps the best actors never step out of character even when there is no audience. 

“Yes, yes. As you can see, I am perfectly well now. You can rest easily in the comfort of your own room,” Haru urges her to leave and pulls his hand away to push his point. 

“Fine. I will leave, but do take better care of yourself.” The queen mother promptly takes her leave in a huff.

Haru waits until she is out of sight to relax, but knows he will be on edge again soon enough. Rin will be coming any minute, but Haru still isn’t sure how to proceed with things. He asked for Rin on an impulse and is now regretting his decision. Pretending to pass out is an option, though Haru is sure Makoto will give him a hard time for throwing everyone into grief again. Heading to the kitchens for a late bite is another option, though Haru is sure Makoto will give him a hard time for not resting enough. Whatever Haru chooses to do, Makoto will give him a hard time. 

_I am the king for goodness’ sake. I have faced much more terrifying things before_ , Haru thinks which makes him recall the his last thoughts before the fatigue hit him — or perhaps it was his fear getting the best of him. 

A knock on the door pulls Haru out of his reverie. He sits upright despite Makoto’s earlier protest because he does not want to appear any more vulnerable than he already is. 

“Come in.”

Haru grabs ahold of his blanket and wrings it between his hands as he intently watches Rin enter the room. The prince closes the door behind him, lingering at the threshold for a moment.

“I swear I won’t bite,” Haru finds himself saying. He doesn’t know who he is trying to comfort, but all the fears and worries built up inside melt away with every step Rin takes. What was he so scared of? Haru completely forgets, all he can think about right now is how elated he is to be reunited with Rin. They were apart for a few weeks. It felt more like an eternity. 

“I’m glad you are doing well,” Rin finally says and Haru notices the way his eyes move about the room, trying to figure out whether he should sit or stand. 

Haru shifts over a bit and pats the empty spot next to him. “Have a seat. You’ll be more comfortable.” 

“Can I take that as a sign that you like me, even slightly?” Rin is hopeful. The last time they shared a bed was during a thunderstorm, huddled together under the covers. Rin had wet his trousers, but Haru never said a word about it. 

Haru rolls his eyes. “Sit your ass down before I change my mind,” he grumbles, too embarrassed to give Rin a proper reply. 

Rin wastes no time in kicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable on the bed as if it were his own. “So this is how a king sleeps,” Rin admires. It’s not as if he hasn’t lived a life of luxury himself, but resting there on Haru’s bed is an entirely new experience. The sheets feel much softer, the curtains are embroidered with gold thread, and heaven’s most precious gift sits only inches away from him. If it weren’t for the roaring fire, Rin swears the entire world could hear his racing heart.

“Hey, Rin —” Haru barely gets two words out before Rin presses a finger to his lips to silence him. 

“We don’t have to have _that talk_ yet. You should get some rest tonight. Your health is the most important thing to me right now,” Rin explains. As much as he wants to talk things out as well, Rin would never forgive himself if Haru fell ill because of him. Not only will this benefit Haru, but it will also give Rin some more time to calm himself down. He does not want to speak from his ass and sound like a fool. 

Haru wants to protest, but then an idea hits him. “We will do it your way, but stay until I fall asleep.”

Rin is caught off-guard by the request (or is it a command since he’s the king) and takes a few moments to come up with a reply. “Anything for you.”

Satisfied with his response, Haru lies down and pulls the covers over his shoulders. Rin smiles down at him. If every night could be like this, Haru would not mind it one bit.

“Good night and sweet dreams,” Rin whispers and kisses Haru on the forehead.

Haru seizes up. "On second thought, you can leave now."

Rin would make a clever remark if he wasn't so embarrassed by his hasty actions, but looking from the corner of his eye, it doesn't seem like he's the only one feeling this way. He can only hope this moment will be the first of many they share together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really fickle as of late, so I'm surprised I made it to chapter 10... but here it is. A miracle.


	11. Chapter 11

The following days are met with peace and contentment. Everyone in the castle can feel the change in the air and it is more than welcome, helping usher them into the most joyous season of the year. No one can point out what exactly has caused the sudden shift in mood. Could it be the steady snowfall? The festive decorations around the castle? The smell of freshly cut wood burning in the fireplace? Whatever the reason may be, everyone is buzzing with life in the dead of winter.

Haru is delighted to see the smiles on his household’s faces, genuine ones versus the polite ones they wear in his presence. It makes him feel like he is finally doing his job correctly, though there isn’t exactly a manual which he can cross-reference to tell him right from wrong. Their happiness must have rubbed off on Haru because he does not butt heads with his mother as much and finds council meetings to be tolerable. He actually keeps himself focused the entire time. 

Makoto was wary at first, but eventually dropped his guard when he put two and two together. Haru acted the same way several weeks ago during Rin’s brief stay at the castle and then the king’s sense of responsibility and strength tapered off following Rin’s departure for Hatsbury. Now that Rin is back for the time being, Haru has returned to the epitome of a perfect monarch. Makoto knows the current circumstances will not remain forever. Rin will have to go home and Haru will have to learn how to rule without Rin by his side. It is not to say that Haru was leading the country down a terrible path before, but who would want the old king back when they have seen his true potential? This is why Makoto must find Haru a suitable wife to fill in the void Rin will leave behind, someone who can draw out his greatest strengths and help push Ancora into the next great era. The queen mother is in full agreement. She wants nothing more than to see her son married and father an heir. 

“Your Majesty, the Winter Gala will be the perfect time to meet potential wives,” Makoto brings up as Haru eats breakfast. 

As expected, Haru falls silent. He glances around the room for help, but the only other people in the room are his mother and the servants. No one there will provide him a lifeline. 

“Tachibana, please. Let’s discuss this in private,” Haru urges. 

An exasperated sigh comes from the other side of the table in response. “Haruka, this is as private as it will get. I am your mother and will be privy to any and all marriage discussions. I will not give my blessing if you choose some harlot far below your ranking,” his mother states.

“I am the king. I get the final say in who I will marry,” Haru reminds her and pushes his plate aside, having lost his appetite. 

“That is correct, but you can not simply do as you please. Like you said, you’re the king, not a ruthless tyrant.”

Makoto claps his hands together to draw attention to himself. He regrets bringing up the topic of marriage during an untimely moment. “Now, now. It is a lovely day outside. Why don’t you and your ladies take this opportunity to get some fresh air, Your Majesty?”

The queen mother shrugs and gets up from her seat. “We will continue this later.”

“Then I shall take this opportunity to go into the nearby town to distribute alms,” Haru announces. Usually, he waits until later in the season, but his mother has soured his mood and now he needs to clear his head. 

“But we have not given the kitchens word ahead of time. They will not be able to produce the quantities of bread needed,” Makoto squawks. 

Haru waves his worries off. “I will just have to buy out the bakeries in town. They will make a nice profit and my people will be fed. Everyone wins.” 

Makoto wrings his hands together behind his back, but does not make a retort because Haru’s plan is sound, as much as he disagrees with it. “Alright. I will prepare the horses and the guards.”

 

“Would you like to accompany me into town, Rin?” Haru thought Rin would like to explore more of the country instead of being cooped up in the castle. And this gives him another reason to spend more time with him without saying it outright. 

“Like a lovers’ excursion?” Rin waggles his brows. 

Haru rolls his eyes. “I will tell the servants to bring you an extra large helping of grilled mackerel for lunch to ensure you do not die of starvation while I am out.” He heads for the door, but Rin tugs on his sleeve to make him stop in his tracks.

“I was only kidding. Let me join you,” Rin pleads like a child, the corners of his mouth dipping down to a pout.

“Okay. Remember to dress warmly. The sun may be out, but winter is unforgiving.” 

Rin beams at Haru and pulls him in for a hug. “I love you.”

Haru has been too embarrassed to return the sentiment verbally and Rin knows it, but the latter likes to remind him whenever he is given the chance. “Just get ready, you nitwit.” Haru gently pushes Rin away and scurries off to safety where Rin can’t see his flushed cheeks.

 

“Your Majesty, please watch your step,” the coachman greets Haru and offers him his hand. 

Haru glances at the man briefly and then turns his attention to Makoto. “Rin and I won’t need the carriage. We’ll take our horses instead.”

“You can’t be serious. The roads are dangerous this time of year. You don’t want to make yourself a target for thieves,” Makoto warns him. It may be the season of giving, but there are those who choose to take and take until their pockets are full. They will use whatever means necessary to get the job done.

“I don’t want to be a target, so we’ll skip taking the gaudy carriage. It stands out too much,” Haru points out and walks off to fetch the stable boy. 

“Your Majesty, please reconsider. With the way you’re dressed, people will immediately know who you are,” the coachman pleads along with Makoto, but their words and concerns fall to deaf ears. 

 

When Haru and his entourage reach the outskirts of town, word that the king is coming spreads like a wildfire. Some guards are sent ahead to ensure there is a clear path for them to take through town and to their destinations. Townsfolk flock to the main road to catch a glimpse of Haru. They shout his name, cry out blessings. Haru smiles down at them from his steed, waving. No matter how many years pass by, it continues to amaze him how the people are willing to stop what they’re doing and stand in the cold to see him. This year feels much more special because he isn’t cooped up in a moving cage.

“Looks like someone is popular,” Rin whispers when the men make their first stop at one of the few bakeries. 

“Oh, shut your mouth. I’m sure everyone back at home adores their little prince,” Haru quips. 

“I am no longer little. I am a grown man,” Rin reminds him, folding his arms over his chest. 

“How could I ever forget?” Haru gives Rin’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before greeting the baker and his family who have gathered outside their quaint shop. They all bow and curtsey together. 

“Your Majesty, it is an honor to have you visit. If we had known you were coming today, we would have prepared something more substantial for you. Please accept this loaf of honey wheat as a token of our gratitude,” the baker says and gives his young son a nudge to present their gift. 

The boy hesitantly totters forward, staring up at Haru with wide eyes. He clutches onto the loaf for dear life. 

Haru crouches down to meet the boy at eye-level and offers him a soft smile. “Hello, there. My name is Nanase Haruka. What’s yours?” Rin rarely ever sees this other side of Haru and it makes his heart skip a beat.

The boy looks over his shoulder for further instruction from his father. “Go ahead, tell him your name.”

“I-I am… I mean, m-my name is Nitori. N-Nitori Aiichiro,” the boy stutters.

“I think you’ll grow up to be a fine man, so keep your head up high,” Haru says and pats the boy on the head. Watching Haru interact with the child makes Rin want to have a family of his own with the man he loves.

“Y-you really think so!?” Nitori gasps.

“A king would never lie.” Haru’s words light the boy’s face up. Nitori hands over the bread to the king and runs back to his family to gloat about their encounter as if his family was not there to witness it. 

“Now, for the real matter at hand. Lord Tachibana,” Haru calls for his advisor to step forward with a small velvet pouch. “I think this will be more than enough for whatever you have prepared for the day.”

The baker is flabbergasted and looks to his wife for help. “Your Majesty, thank you for your most gracious patronage. Our family will always support and pray for you.” Afterwards, the wife beckons for the older children to help her load the prepared wagon outside with loaves of bread and a few pies. Makoto hands over the money once the baker returns to his senses.

And then it’s onto the next bakery. And the next. 

Haru cleans out every bakery before making his way to the town square where his entourage sets up and have the folks line up in an orderly fashion. The guards make sure everyone is safe and no one tries to steal. Some people take the food without a word while others jabber on and on until one of the guards tell them to step aside for the next person to receive their share. 

Embarrassingly, Haru’s arms tire of repeating the same motion of picking up bread and handing it out rather quickly. He takes a step back to rest on a chair prepared for him. Rin joins him soon after. 

“Who knew the hard-faced Haru could be so sweet towards children?” Rin talks lowly. 

“Everyone except you.” Haru punches Rin on the arm. “For a man who claims to lo — like me, you sure enjoy taking jabs at me.”

“The only one taking jabs is you.” Rin whines, rubbing his not-so-sore arm. 

“Here, let me make it better for you,” Haru scoops some snow off the ground and throws it at Rin. 

 

“The king is sure in a joyous mood today,” Asahi comments from the sidelines. 

“He is. Is that all you will report back to the queen mother?” Makoto steps up from behind. 

Asahi swivels around. “Ah, Lord Tachibana. I did not see you there.”

“Avoiding the question, I see. Have it your way, but I advise you to tread carefully.” Makoto parts with a curt smile.

 

While Haru’s men continue passing out alms to the townsfolk, Haru calls for a servant to fetch the cherry pie. 

Rin perks up at the sound. “Did you just say cherry pie?”

“Indeed. I know how much you love them,” Haru answers, trying his best not to mirror the big smile on Rin’s face.

“But cherries are no longer in season,” Rin says skeptically. As much as he would love to dive into one of the greatest pleasures in life, it would be impossible for anyone to get their hands on such a pie, even a king. 

“That is correct, but if you travel south by boat for weeks upon weeks, you’ll come across a country in the midst of summer. Incredible, isn’t it?” Haru did not believe his eyes when merchants arrived for the first time with the ruby red fruit by the barrels. He never had the need to indulge in cherries during the winter over the years, but knew he had to get his hands on them when Rin arrived at the castle after all those years. The fruit had arrived a few days before Rin returned from Hatsbury and Haru had his baker craft a pie fit for a king last night.

Haru intended on giving it to Rin back at home where they could be together in private, but a change in scenery is always nice. It is just like Rin suggested earlier, annoyingly enough, a lovers’ excursion. 

Five servants return. One with the pie, two hefting a table, and two more with tableware.

They set up the table swiftly and serve each man a slice. Haru thanks and excuses them. There are people all around, but he wants some semblance of privacy. 

Rin looks down at the cherry pie, then at Haru, then at the pie again. He goes back and forth between them in disbelief. If this is simply a dream, he hopes to wake up and share the dream with Haru.

“I don’t know what to say,” Rin manages to get out. 

Haru chuckles and shakes his head. “You don’t have to. Just eat.”

Rin knows he can’t smother Haru in kisses right now, so he opts for the next best thing. He reaches under the table for Haru’s hand and gives it the hardest squeeze he can muster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to update this over a month later. I swear I have not abandoned the story. No matter what, I will finish this one way or another. Until then, enjoy this little Christmas in July.


	12. Chapter 12

After several hours of distributing alms to the townsfolk, the sun has made its way across the sky and is ready to set. If Haru and his men speed down the main road, they can make it back home just as the darkness of night begins to settle in. But it is the middle of winter. The steady snowfall may take a turn for the worst during their return. Haru does not want to risk any accidents, so he has decided everyone will stay in town for the night just to be on the safe side. 

There are only so many inns and only so many rooms to spare, so the entourage splits up between two places and further divide themselves into groups of three or four per room. As for Haru, he gets the pleasure of enjoying his own bed.

“I’ll only be down the hall. If you need anything, do not hesitate to call for me,” Makoto reminds Haru for the umpteenth time as if they’ve never sought shelter at a less than desirable establishment. Not everything can do according to plan, to Makoto’s dismay. Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. And this is one of those times. 

“I know, I know. Rest assured, I will be fine. And besides, my guards will be standing watch all night. Only a fool would try to do anything,” Haru tries to calm his advisor. 

With apprehension, Makoto walks away from Haru’s room and towards his own. Haru bids the two guards outside his door a good night before closing it. There is not much to do in an unfamiliar room filled with the bare necessities and a small window. Haru decides it will be best to simply rest for the evening until daybreak because Makoto will surely want to head back to the castle as soon as possible. Since Haru did not take the carriage, he must ride along with the other men. It would be an awful idea trying to keep himself straddled on his horse with little to no energy. At times like this, Haru wishes Makoto wasn’t right.

_“Rin and I won’t need the carriage. We’ll take our horses instead.”_

Regret.

_I suppose he is my chief advisor for a reason and has my best interest at heart, but I’ll never tell him that._

Haru is afraid of stripping down, not knowing what exactly might happen in the late hours of the night. He has put his full trust in the members of his guards, but the worst may come upon him when he least expects it. There is no such thing as being overly cautious, especially when it comes to one’s own life. As uncomfortable as it may be, Haru will sleep in his day clothes. His trousers are a bit too stiff, but the last thing he wants to do is face an assailant with his little friend out. 

Haru does his best to get comfortable in bed. The thin blanket itches his skin and the pillow is as hard as a rock. To think that other people find these miserable conditions to be acceptable baffles Haru. Nonetheless, these miserable conditions are his reality for the next several hours with no reprieve in sight. He must bare them. Sleep does not come easily to him, but eventually exhaustion takes over and throws Haru into the depths of sweet slumber. 

 

Everyone is ready to return home before day breaks. Chests have been packed and the horses fed. The sun peeking over the horizon signals the men to start heading out onto the main road. Most of the town is still asleep except for the bakeries which need time to prepare for the day ahead. Haru spots the young boy from the other day, Nitori. He looks exhausted as he stares blankly out the window, but perks up once his eyes meets the king’s. Haru nods in acknowledgement. 

Without all the hardworking people in this town — and all the others, of course — the kingdom would not be able to run as smoothly as it does. It is a fact easily forgotten when you’re sitting on top of the world, sheltered, which is why Haru visits the nearby towns every year during the winter to remind himself. His father had done the same, bringing Haru along once he was old enough to walk to get a better understanding and respect for the people. 

 

_“Why do I have to follow you again, father?” Haru grumbles as his attendants bundle him up for the cold weather. “It’s the same thing every year.”_

_“Not everyone is as fortunate as us, Haruka. They have no choice but to go through the same motions everyday in order to survive,” his father explains._

_He was always so patient and kind,_ Haru reminisces and the thought brings a small smile to his face. 

“Got a certain somebody on your mind?” hot breath caresses his ear suddenly. It causes Haru to jolt and almost fall backwards on his horse. Thankfully he manages to upright himself before anyone notices. 

Haru glares at Rin from the corner of his eye, but refuses to say anything more. They have quite bit more road to cover and the sun has barely risen. It is way too early for any games, especially ones that will cause Haru’s heart to beat faster than usual. Rin gives him a smirk as if to say they’ll continue _this_ later. 

As appreciative as Haru is towards his father for teaching him about humility, he remembers how lucky Rin was during those winters. The queen insisted Rin stay behind so he could focus more on his studies, but they all knew it was because she didn’t want Rin catching a cold.

 

Once the men have finally returned, the castle is in a frenzy. Preparations for the Winter Gala are in full swing. There is not one single person idling about because after one task is complete, they are given another one immediately. Even Rin’s men have been put to work. Despite all the pressure and buzzing around, everyone is more than happy to do their fair share because they know once everything is up and ready, the festivities will begin. Day after day after day of fun and amusement await.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, those tables do not go there,” the queen mother squawks, loud enough for the entire household to hear. 

“And you,” she points a finger at an attendant with a bolt of blue velvet in their arms. “Make sure that makes it to my chambers safely.” The man nods and hurries off. 

As much as Haru loathes having his mother around, she in undoubtedly useful during times of urgency. He does not mind stepping back and letting her run the show because he couldn’t care less about how the atrium should be decorated and which set of tableware should be used. All he cares about is having a good time and making sure everyone else is. 

Because there is less work on Haru’s plate, he sneaks in short breaks to spend time with Rin. Most days they sit by a fireplace, sipping tea in silence. It’s an escape from all the ruckus happening around them. They don’t need to say anything for them to understand their feelings for one another. In fact, they haven’t had a formal conversation about it since Rin’s return. Do they really need to affirm their love with spoken word when all the time they have spent together speaks for itself? Haru already knows the answer, but he’s too afraid to bring it up. For him, holding Rin’s hand in secret and exchanging kisses on the cheek are enough for him. Since Rin has not said anything himself, Haru wants to believe Rin is on the same page as him. 

“Hey, Haru,” Rin says, keeping his eyes focused the flickering flames.

“Hm?”

“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we were just normal people?” he asks.

“The only weird one is here,” Haru mutters and takes a sip tea, hiding behind his cup.

Rin kicks him gently. “You know what I mean… and we both know you’re weirder than me.”

Haru would love nothing more than refuse answering Rin’s question, but it is an interesting one. In all his years, Haru never really put much thought into an alternate life, an alternate universe. He has everything he needs, a roof over his head, a family, and someone who loves him back. Then again, there are times when Haru wishes there was less responsibility resting on his shoulders. Free time to spend however he pleases without someone constantly watching him. 

But no, Haru does not wonder nor does he want to wonder what life would be like if he was a normal person because this life he has has allowed him to be with Rin. He wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

“Yes, I would not have to deal with you,” Haru teases and prepares for retaliation, but Rin does not move from his spot. 

“Oh,” the only word to fall from Rin’s lips. 

Haru sets his cup down carefully and scoots over to close off the space between them, resting his head on Rin’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Haru whispers, regret washing over him. 

Rin says nothing.

The silence is killing Haru. He grasps at his trousers as if they’ll give him the answer he needs to fix this.

And then he feels his head begin to shake, followed by the sound of Rin cackling like a witch from the fairytales. 

“I…”

“...g-got”

“You!” Rin manages to say between fits of laughter. 

Haru isn’t sure if he should be annoyed, shocked, angry, or amused. While he tries to sort out his emotions, he puts Rin in a headlock.

“I won’t let go until I feel better,” Haru warns him.

“I don’t mind,” Rin says nonchalantly like he isn’t about to have his windpipes crushed. 

It’s no fun if the other person is having fun. Haru loosens his grip and fusses with Rin’s hair until it looks like a tumbleweed. Now they’re even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have risen.


	13. Chapter 13

“Rin, please do tell me how your family is doing nowadays,” the queen mother inquires over lunch. The table is covered with all of Rin’s favorite foods from when he was a child which means there is enough dessert to feed a starving army after battle, but most of it goes untouched due to conversation. 

The three of them, including Haru are eating together, but Haru isn’t sure why he is even there in the first place. His mother has spoken to him only once over the course of the entire meal and it was simply to greet him. If custom did not require one to greet the king, she would have said nothing to him at all. Initially she wanted to dine with only Rin and catch up on all the years she’s missed, but Rin insisted Haru join them. Haru isn’t sure if Rin is trying to spend more time with him or torture him because right now, Haru feels like he’s being punished for something he never did. He does not enjoy hearing his mother dote over Rin and ask him questions which she’d only ask Haru out of obligation. 

Haru fills the void with little nibbles of this and that, but nothing really suits his fancy. He would much prefer to eat seafood or rice. Hopefully there is something palatable on the table or he will ask for the kitchens to fix up a special dish for him. His parents taught him to be grateful for the food they had and stop being picky, so he trudges on, giving everything within his reach a try. 

“Very well. Thank you for asking. My father broke his arm during a walk in the garden a few months ago, but he likes to tell people it happened on a hunting expedition. As for my mother, she likes to busy herself with sewing. Gou is still travelling the continent and brings back the oddest trinkets.” When Rin speaks about his family, he wears the brightest smile on his face, a beacon at this dull time. 

“Excuse my words, but a princess should not be moving about like a nomad. She should be settling down with a husband and start a family,” she says. 

Rin shrugs. “You know my parents, they insist we seek out different parts of the world, so when we return home, we’ll help our country grow stronger with brand new insight. That’s the reason why I got to live in your lovely home all those years,” he reminds her and immediately the queen mother’s mood improves. She leans back in her seat and begins to tell anecdotes she remembers of those days. Most of them revolve around Rin, but a few of them include Haru. Their childhood seemed like a blur at times, so listening to her bring up memories long forgotten warms Haru’s heart. He taps out in his battle to find something to eat and glances over at Rin, knowing he’s thinking the same thing too. They smile at each other and lose themselves in the brief revival of their youth. 

For the first time in a long while, Haru forgets why he holds ill feelings towards his mother.

 

After the meal is done, Haru is whisked away to a meeting with his chief advisor to go over last minute details pertaining to the upcoming festivities and finalize them. Haru did not have much of a choice on whether or not he would attend the meeting, so the least he could do was move it over to his sitting room where he watch the snowfall in the garden, something to amuse him as he listens to Makoto drawl on and on for who knows how long. Every meeting seems to go on for hours without end.

“There are a lot of things we must discuss, but the most important matter is your speech, Your Majesty,” Makoto states as he shuffles around a few papers and places them in front of Haru. The king glances down at them and recognizes them as his previous speeches from years past.

On the final night of the Winter Gala, there is a spectacular dinner held in the dining hall. Before they eat, Haru makes a speech highlighting the year’s events and thanking those who really made an impact on his life or the country’s. This is the only time most people hear Haru speak at length and they make sure none of his words fall to deaf ears. 

The first year’s was the hardest one for Haru because his father had passed away only months before. He was fourteen years old, feeling completely alone without any support. Rin had returned home to Cupere and the queen regent, his mother, was more preoccupied with making sure their guests were having a wonderful time. She should have been more focused on her young boy who couldn’t wear the crown on his head because it was too big for him, who couldn’t speak in front of such a distinguished audience without feeling the need to empty the contents of his stomach. Haru barely made it through the awful ordeal and had to excuse himself for the rest of the night. Not once did his mother check up on him. He greatly resents her for that night. The one moment he truly needed a mother, she failed to fill that role for him. 

“Are you ill?” Makoto worries and places the back of his hand on Haru’s forehead.

The king swats his hand away and grimaces. “Never put your hands on me again.”

Makoto kneels down and lowers his head in shame. “Forgive me, Your Majesty. I acted without thinking. It’s that time of the year when everyone falls sick and I didn’t…..” 

Haru loses interest in what Makoto has to say as his mind wanders back to that night, all alone in the king’s chambers. Every room is beautiful, lavish. They’re everything one dreams about and more, but for Haru he wished to be anywhere but there — in the arms of his mother or racing Rin in the courtyard. He did whatever he could to distract himself from the loneliness, eventually finding himself reading and rereading the letters Rin had sent him since his departure. The letters talked about adjusting to everyday life back at home, planning visits that never happened, showing off the skills he had acquired, describing the shores, and anything else Rin thought would be of interest to Haru. Mundane or interesting, Haru savored every word and lulled himself to sleep, praying for a happier tomorrow. If Rin could move forward, so could Haru.

A cough disrupts him and reminds Haru of where he is. He notices Makoto is still on his knees and beckons for him to rise, though he does not apologize for making him wait. 

“The speech, I will start working on it and have it ready by the final dinner,” Haru asserts. He does not want anyone looking over his work this time. It will be a surprise for everyone in attendance. 

Makoto struggles with the proclamation, but accepts it nonetheless because Haru has had many years to finesse his words and the way he expresses himself. He has to have complete faith in the king sometimes. “Alright then,” he concedes. “Shall we move onto the next order of business?”

Haru nods curtly. 

 

“How did your meeting go with Lord Tachibana? Dull as ever?” Rin asks as he and Haru take a stroll down the hallways. 

Haru shrugs. It could have been better, but at least they were able to salvage solutions to their remaining issues. There is not much else Haru could have asked for. “The Winter Gala shall proceed without a hitch.”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” Rin starts. “My father wants me to return for our own celebrations, says it’ll be another good opportunity to meet with potential marriage candidates.” It pains him to share the disheartening news because he knows they both were looking forward to Rin experiencing his first gala under Haru’s reign. Rin wanted to see how things have changed and stayed the same since his last one as a young boy. Haru’s father had a more laid back attitude and allowed his wife to dictate most of the celebrations. Even though Rin sees that the queen mother stands at the helm of the ship as preparations continue, he can’t imagine Haru has given her complete free reign over every decision. 

Haru feels dismayed, but can not say he did not brace himself for such turn of events. At the end of the day, Rin has his own family and country to tend to. It would be silly of Haru to believe that he can have Rin all to himself. Only a fool would ever dare to think that way. And unfortunately, Haru is one. But the mention of marriage makes him grit his teeth to prevent himself from saying anything foolish or embarrassing. He already receives enough reminders as it is that they are not meant to be together; the last thing he needs is another one from Rin because his words sting the most, like poison seeping into wounds untended to.

“Is someone jealous?” Rin singsongs as he turns around and starts to walk backwards, sneering.

Haru turns his head to the side and mutters, “No.”

Rin’s voice softens as he speaks again. “Why don’t we make the best of the time we have together? I’d love to see that swimming hole we used to frequent as children, while I’m still here.”

“It’s the middle of winter,” Haru reminds him. He can’t imagine a sheet of ice would be much fun to stare at. 

“And your point is?” Rin cocks a brow. 

“Makoto won’t —” 

“Think for yourself for once, Haru. You’re allowed to be selfish, especially since you’re the king. If even the king is not allowed to indulge himself, what is there left to be desired?” Rin stops in his tracks and looks up and down the hall, making sure the coast is clear before he takes Haru’s hands in his. “If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. Think of it as an early present.”

Haru wants to look away again, but Rin’s gaze captivates him, burning intensely like the summer sun. It sends shivers down Haru’s spine and at the same time he feels hot all over. Moments like this reaffirm the unspoken fact that Rin is all his. He struggles to find the words to speak, everything he can muster just isn’t good enough for Rin. Rin deserves nothing but the best. 

The moment is broken with the sound of approaching footsteps. The pair takes two steps back away from each other and pretends to admire the garlands lining the walls. 

“Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness,” the passing maid curtsies and scurries off. 

Once she is out of earshot, Haru quickly pieces a reply together in case they are interrupted again. “Tomorrow. No snow. We will.”

Rin tries his best to hold back a laugh. “I can’t wait.”


End file.
